As if

My sisyphean task of the week: to get Steve Vai's kid to love bluegrass as much as I do.

Or even 1/10th as much.

"I'm lost in your eyes..."

I think it's a good place to be in when I enthusiastically listen to cheesy love songs even though I'm about as single as you could imagine.  Unless you count being practically married to my roommate.  This morning, after she jumped on my bed to wake me up, we did laundry together.  Now she's puttering around very worried that someone stole her flannel, which she pronounces, "flanel" (rhymes with Chanel).

I emphatically recommend "The Story" by Brandi Carlisle and "Crazier" by Taylor Swift.  So inspirational.  Great for dancing to with lots of spins, or braiding hair in pigtails.  Or painting fingernails pink.

Spring Holidays

In this week of holidays, I am thinking that the sun is a god that rises *every single day*

My feelings on Passover are more myriad and complicated, but ultimately, everyone needs a place to live where they are free.  What does it mean for one people's freedom to impinge on another's?

The day is an ocean that parts *every single day* to let us through. And like going through the sea, we rush ahead, the day washes closed behind us, and not everything is resolved because we still don't know how to glean milk and honey from the sand.  Because that's as good an act of finding god as any.

Chess and Poop

So I've been babysitting these great kids lately and it's been so totally enriching to my life.  

Yesterday I played chess with this 6-year-old boy, and it was the best game I've ever played.  I won (I love winning), but he also pulled moves out of his sleeve that were challenging and unexpected.  We were a perfect match as chess partners.

Have I mentioned, he's 6?

Then the other night I had this great conversation with the 5-year-old about poop.  She was about to fall asleep when we had to make a great excursion to the bathroom.  She explained that she doesn't poop much because she doesn't eat healthy enough.  I explain, "You need more fiber".  "What's fiber?"  "It's in veggies, it's the part you don't digest and turn into food, so it just comes out the other end."  "Yeah, I like to just eat sugar.  Look, I'm spitting all over the old toilet paper roll.  I should wipe with it too and just cover it with all my body juices. " "Absolutely not.  You can't flush cardboard, and you're not throwing poopy cardboard in the trash."  "I'll take it outside and bury it!" "No. No way.  How's that poop coming?"  "I dunno." "You think it's gonna happen?" Gleeful shrug.  

Half an hour later I had glitter all over my cheeks, a piece of spitty cardboard in the trash, and a girl who wouldn't stop chatting with me and start falling asleep.

Also this:

The bible belt actually exists.  I drove through it in a car-full of jews. 

And I was very, very, afraid.

And then I decided, next year, I'm moving to the south.

More on this later...

...but I've been thinking a lot lately about small vs. big scale activism.  And how they need each other.  How we need people planting gardens on rooftops, but we also need people signing legislature that makes farm subsidies go to the right farmers, and that makes it impossible to buy high-emissions vehicles, with affordable alternatives, so that not only rich conscientious people buy hybrids.

I went from an apathetic to an anarchist to a democrat in about 5 months- hot damn.

Correction- I'm now an amalgamation of all three.

Ultimately, I find that again, things rest in a spot of tension between equally compelling forces.  Maybe striking that balance without being ripped to pieces is one definition of wisdom?

Reinstituting the Sabbath

I was raised by my mother to be critical of religious observances as hegemonic, and taught that conversely, spirituality is a practice that requires no discipline and no rules.  This has been liberating for me to an extent, but beyond that extent it has not served me altogether for the best.

I have made a decision to reinstitute the sabbath.  I mean, sort of.  What I mean is that from Thursday sundown to Friday sundown, I will not turn on my cell phone or my computer.  I hope this will help to combat my constant need to attend to social/organizational issues and unnecessary extroversion.  I have also noticed that checking my email is an act of grasping, of hoping someone I want to hear from has sent me something that will make me feel good.  This habit is the opposite of mindfulness, and encourages me to feel dissatisfied, always searching for stimulation(/simulation?).  I think email and cell phone are helpful, and there are many people far away from me who I love and want to connect with.  I just need to be aware of how these positive uses of technology morph into more negative habits.

No, I will not ask other people to turn on the light switch.  And I moved the day ahead by one because it suits my personal schedule, and this isn't about a god that's watching, it's about taking better care of myself.  And because I believe the intention in this is more important than extreme observance, of course I will use my cell phone and computer if I REALLY need to.  Obviamente.  But I really think that this as a mindfulness practice will be good for me.  

Also, this.