Buying Time

I am home safe and adjusting.  I have so much to say, but I'm still catching up on sleep, pesto, being a social creature, and getting ready to go back to school.  I have not worn a pair of pants since I got home.  I feel a pang of guilt when I drink water from the tap, or throw toilet paper in the toilet.  I catch myself before telling the cashiers that their prices are outrageous and offering them 3/4 of the cost.  Sometimes I think of words in Spanish before I remember them in English.  Sometimes I feel sad because I don't know what I'm doing here but I don't even want to go back. 

Today I went to the fancy cheese shop and asked for 3 dollars' worth of Pecorino Tartufo because I have no money.  I carried my tiny wedge of cheese back to the car in the rain, wearing my polka dot skirt, and turned up the Cat Power on the stereo a little louder, because some things never change more than a little bit.