Back to the Future

So the idea of returning to the hotel made me want to throw up. Laura would leave me, I would be lonely, Jill and Bob and Kenny would be assholes, and every day would feel like Groundhog's Day.

It was actually not so bad. The food, for one thing, was great. I convinced the kitchen to give me an entire sashimi-grade tuna stake completely raw. Also, I had never noticed this before, but my sheets were super soft and my bed was super comfy and hard. Casper was happy to see me. Laura was exited about her return to the States. The guests were pleasant. I did a lot of yoga, which felt good.

I finally got to meet Angela, the massage therapist who came to work here for 3 weeks. She came the night before I left, and then the day after I got back she and Kenny went on vacation for a few days, but when she got back, we became great friends. Angie is 31 and from Minneapolis. We bonded over our shared experiences of working at Amatierra and dating men.

It turns out, she and Kenny have been having a romance! Now, I have to give her a lot of credit, because Kenny is not an easy guy to deal with, and she was in up to her elbows in dealing. I think for the most part they made one another happy. The three of us spent a lot more time together, which was great.

I had just the best Valentine's day. I mean really, I think it was the best one of my life. This is funny because since it was hot and sunny, I basically forgot about it until it was upon me, and since I am on a different continent than my sweetheart. Which just goes to show, we don't have any idea what will actually make us happy.

I had a totally decent day at work, and we had tres leches cake for dessert, which was DELICIOUS. I mean, really really delicious cake that was moist and didn't taste fake or like trans fats. I received a very sweet email that made me blush and just die inside for a little while, which was great, and even better, because Angie teased me, in the good way. I got to sunbathe. Then, when we got home, Angie and I had a surprise for Kenny! We "took Casper out for a walk", which we really did do in reality, but it was just a guise for going to find firewood. You see, Kenny has never had s'mores before. That's because he is not American. So we scoped out the sides of the road for good firewood, while meanwhile Casper finds a totally flattened, dried frog. This dude is paper-thin and dessicated, and also squashed so artistically front to back, so that each of his little frog legs sticks straight out from his body. Casper is super into this leathery hunk of jerky, and carries him around in his mouth for the rest of the walk. Later, he proceeds to roll in it. Because Kenny is bad cop with Casper, good cop Rachel lets the dog roll in roadkill while we sneak back to the house with wood.

We built that fire! Thanks to Kenny, really, who gave me some paper. You know me, I am a fire purist and a fire snob, and I do not use newspaper. But there are times when it is the only way, and this was one of those times.

The marshmallows were fruit-flavored. No joke, colors, too! And so we made our s'mores, which Kenny "liked" but wouldn't eat because they were too sweet (I believe there is no such thing, except in ice cream, which should not be sweetened at all). Angie and I at lots of them, and then went to bed.

The next day we went to the waterfall! We took a beautiful hike to the most majestic waterfall with a totally clear, rock-bottom pool at the bottom. Excuse me. It was a *double* waterfall with two pools. We climbed up the first waterfall to get to the second one, actually, and there was a rope swing and everything. I had never been to a real waterfall before. It was like heaven. I really sounded like a broken record, saying "this is like heaven" about every two minutes. It's not the kind of thing you can talk about, or explain, but you get the sense that this is why you were born, to appreciate being a human with these kinds of props. Angie was awesome because she appreciated it just as much as I did, and so we were very happy and played in the water for a couple of hours.

We also baked chocolate chip cookies together! Because we missed them. They have so many baked goods in this country, but not those. Kenny "liked" them, but they were too sweet.

Also, another thing that happened since I got back: Bob and I got into a scream-fight. I haven't had a fight in probably 3 years. My definition of a fight being, a disagreement that escalates to the point where you are no longer focused on solving the problem but just on hurting the other person. There was a miscommunication/misunderstanding in which hotel stuff did not run smoothly. Unfair accusations were made. Insults were launched. Voices were raised. Crying erupted. More accusations and insults. Leaving the room. Apologies. Many, many apologies. In the end Bob *promised* that he would be nicer and more respectful and think about others' feelings more.

The funny thing about the fight is that ever since, Bob and I have been SUPER nice and respectful to one another. It's great. We're almost friends, or something.

Another funny development is that I now have secondary lactose intolerance. This happens sometimes after food poisoning because the cells in your small intestine which produce lactase, the enzyme that breaks down lactose sugars from dairy products, are damaged from the sickness. It can take some time for them to heal and regrow, and then they start making lactase again and you can go back to eating dairy. But for now, it is way not worth it.

Luckily, cheese is not this country's strong point.