The Reiki Retreat

Amatierra is a new-age haven: we offer yoga, massage, aromatherapy, Chi Nei Tsang (what's that?), organic food, nutritional counseling in both Western and Chinese herbalism, and, or course, mani-pedis by the pool. Oh, and we're in the tropics.

This past week, the entire resort (10 double rooms) has been rented out by a reiki group from Chicago. We at Amatierra were all very exited to have so many people interested in such a beautiful and healing practice come and share what is really not only our workplace, but also our home. I often spend more than 12 hours a day on the property, taking breaks between work tasks to walk down to the creek, eat, read Howard Zinn, and do yoga in the open-air studio, where the fog comes in over the distant mountains and the hawks are always soaring. But I digress. We were exited to have them come.

And what did we learn, so that we might grow and be wiser of the world? This, though it is nothing new: the new-age community contains some of the most neurotic, difficult, egotistic people I have known. Sometimes this is a product of the most miserable people being the only ones who have to "wake up" and make a change. God knows I found my spiritual path because I had no other choice but to have faith or be torn apart by fear. Sometimes the quest for self-improvement entails an intolerance for imperfection, whether it be yours, others', or the way things turn out. Or sometimes it is the fact that many of the people with the time and luxury for new-age treatments have a lot of money, and with money can come a sense of entitlement and inflexibility. Or the fact that the ego is tenacious, and spiritual bypass and premature enlightenment is common. These terms mean that we use our spiritual practices as an escape, or as blinders, from real, tangible problems. If I get in a fight, and storm off and sit in my room saying"om om, I'm so at peace", when in reality I am furious, I am hurting myself. We all have a responsibility to show up to our uncomfortable, ugly feelings and actions. All too often the more we pride ourselves on our spiritual wisdom, the more likely we are to be ignoring our spiritual-or worldly!- childishness.

The group has been here about 6 days, and we're all totally burnt out and tense. I haven't had a full day off work since I arrived. They have been difficult, tense, disappointed, accusatory, and negative. Whenever I walk into a room of these people- and Jill has said this is her experience too- my stomach tightens and my breath shortens. These are symptoms of a nervous system fight-or-flight response, that when stimulated undermines the digestive and immune systems, stressing out your adrenal glands. Not what I would expect form a roomful of reiki masters!

How's things?

I'm settling in, and flipping in and out of the honeymoon feeling of being here. Generally when people around me are stressed, I feel unhappy; when people are relaxed, I feel happy. Not news, but: I need to learn how to be more unaffected by peoples' moods.

One thing that's funny is how similar, in some ways, the work here is to Vidalias. We have customers. We need to make them happy. They use things up (towels, clean glasses) and we restock them. We answer the telephone. We smile at people. We need to order supplies and put them away.

However, when I'm not Jill's personal secretary, I teach yoga! I've taught two classes and helped assist one; next week I'm even going to be teaching some private lessons. The first class was awkward and I was nervous and convinced that I would get fired. I spent the first two days living in mortal fear of being fired, constantly. This is no longer a concern of mine, thank goodness. They like me and they've told me so. And my second yoga class was much much better than the first. The yoga shala is a beautiful open-air octagonal studio overlooking the jungle. Really serene.

I've been doing some errand-running around the hotel, some flower arranging, databasing, and menu-layout and design. Little things. I work between 4 and 9 hours a day, so far, and I theoretically get one day off a week, but it's not going to happen this week. We have 18 reiki people here on a big retreat. Next week, if I'm lucky, Kenny's going to take me with him to Manuel Antonio, to the beach, for a couple of days.

My new house is a shithole. It's the kind of place where I walk in and don't even have any idea what a person could do to it to make it better. It's just the way houses are in Latin America. Everything is made by the aesthetically blind, and decorated by the aesthetically destitute. I think the problem is that everything feels very dirty even when it's clean. I can't explain it. But I have a big bed! And it's comfy, too. Last night I cooked in my little kitchen for the first time. It was fun- I made rice and lentils in the electric frying pan. We have really comfy couches, and a tv and dvd player. Our shower theoretically has hot water, but technically speaking, it has no hot water. Showering is very invigorating. And fast.

Despite how ugly and seemingly gross my house it, I'm getting really comfortable in it. My bed is so big and nice, and the couch is super comfy, and here's my favorite part: we just leave the door and windows open. It's always warm and breezy. Some bugs get in, but seeing as there are so many cracks and holes, they would get in anyway. Last night there were geckos all over the wall. Ok, 2 gecko sightings. But still. I can't really curb my enthusiasm about "wildlife". Every time I see a lizard, or a toucan, or a moth the size of my hand, I feel like I've just discovered a dinosaur. It's so exiting.

I like being at Amatierra, the grounds and hammock are really nice, I can go tan by the pool, walk down to the creek with the waterfall, use the studio. But unfortunately there are guests, and I keep getting drawn into talking to them but they only talk about themselves and I'm not supposed to be too chummy with them. So sometimes it's hard to find space. My house is about a mile away from the hotel, and so far I've just been taking taxis at times when they're picking other employees up. I like to stay here because they feed me for free. But that means if I'm here for all three meals, I'm here for 14 hours a day. That's a lot. So I'm going to have to start biking or walking home in the middle of the day for a break, and/or cooking my own dinner and not coming back later. We'll see. Apparently the walk is uphill and difficult. I haven't tried yet.